Animals talk a lot but they just don't read

No book hunting last weekend. I just wasn't up for it. We halfheartedly went out to a porch sale at Spring Farm Cares in New Hartford, an Interspecies Communication, Animal Sanctuary, and Adoption Center. They are the World's First Center for the Teaching of Interspecies Communication. I know! They take in dogs, cats, horses, goats, birds, jackalopes and pushmepullyous. They are very active with neutering, spaying, and talkin' to the animals. Their website is a treasure house of awesome and I suggest a visit there immediately. However, they don't have any books of merit.
Here is my favorite story from the Meet our Horses, Ponies and Donkeys page.
"Gypsy only won one race because she would always slow down as the other horses got closer to her. We figured out later that she was stopping to kick them as she didn’t like other horses coming up behind her." It sounds like Gypsy had it all figured out. Sport of Kings my sweet patoot. You go Gypsy. Stick it to the man. And all those other horses.
I am considering signing up for a workshop in animal communication to ask my female greyhound Q: why you gotta always sneak up behind me and stick your cold nose up my skirt. $300 later - A: because your butts up there. Sweet vacuous Anna.